


borrowed time, borrowed smiles

by soft_jae



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22393753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_jae/pseuds/soft_jae
Summary: With the limited time they have, how can Jaebum let Jinyoung go? How is he supposed to abandon all the details of Jinyoung he's come to cherish?
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	borrowed time, borrowed smiles

A week ago Jaebum drove Jinyoung to the only McDonalds on campus for the college version of a celebratory dinner. Jinyoung insisted on paying for their order of a single chocolate milkshake and large fry, skittering in and out of the restaurant in his moth-eaten sweatpants and thin orange sweatshirt, the kind of ensemble that’s only acceptable in the humid and still air of summer in the countryside. 

Jinyoung had a bundle of straws in his hand as he placed the milkshake in the cupholder between him and Jaebum. He put the bundle in his lap as Jaebum popped the plastic top off the milkshake, and Jaebum found it too odd not to ask.

“You got straws but no spoon? You know how thick these are, it’s like ice cream,” he said. The town is small so chain restaurants like this are rare - there’s better places to get a milkshake. Just not at three in the morning. Jinyoung proved him right when his fry broke in half after “dipping” it into their shared drink. He hummed.

“‘S not for the milkshake. Free straws. A pack of these at the dollar store is two fifty.”

Jinyoung likes to collect ‘freebies’ from restaurants he visits. Their dorm kitchen is comprised of ketchup packets, cheap wooden chopsticks that say “Made in America,” and most importantly, an assortment of plastic cups printed with gaudy logos. Jinyoung’s favorite is a cup he got from some cafe known for its cat mascot. He’s obsessed with it, and Jaebum’s careful when it’s his turn to wash the dishes - there’s chips flaking off of it.

⸻

Their unairconditioned dorm was too hot to stay in, so they started a leisurely walk to the town’s library. The library’s building is old and grand, weathered brick staring down the rest of the shiny, new buildings around campus. He doesn’t like it much but Jinyoung seems fond of it. Jaebum figures it appeals to the romantic in his heart… not to mention, it has air conditioning.

On the way they walked parallel to the town’s flea market. Jinyoung gradually gravitated towards it, subtly changing course.

“Do they have these every summer?” Jinyoung asked, looking over his shoulder just enough to make eye contact. In the high summer sun, Jaebum couldn’t help but notice the shadow his eyelashes cast over the apple of his cheeks.

“Mhm. Same time every year.”

Jinyoung hovered around tables, the independent city dweller insisting Jaebum stay close, just in case he “needed change or something.” He did, and watched as Jinyoung blew away his money on odds and ends.

“You could have gotten those CD’s for, like, five bucks if you haggled.” Jaebum couldn’t leave the amusement out of his voice as they walked back to their dorm. The air was so oppressing Jaebum didn’t really feel like talking, but he wasn’t gonna let the opportunity to tease the city boy slip by without notice.

Jinyoung huffed and used his hand not holding his bag of flea market goodies to run his fingers through his hair. “I think I should cut my hair. Do you?”

Jaebum’s smile grew, glancing away. Later that night Jinyoung came to him with a pair of zig-zagged arts and crafts scissors he bought at the flea market and begged Jaebum to trim his bangs. 

⸻

Jaebum walks through the broad country road in little more than his basketball shorts and the loosest tank top he could find. It’s too warm for anything clingy, even this late at night. By this time, everything seems to stop in its tracks, including the sweltering heat. Maybe the sky, too.

No matter how late it gets, the summer skie is always blue. It’s not black. It’s not purple. It’s not even navy. It’s just… blue. The stars don’t move, either. They’re like permanent little holes in the sky. Like the holes pushpins leave in the notes Jaebum sticks to his bedroom door.

The main street’s sidewalks are lined with grass and Jaebum gaze falls to it, the green strands a little dewey from the cooling humidity. He knows that if he ran his hand through it, it would come  
back wet. Then he’d have to wipe his hand on his shorts, and that’s stupid because he bought these for twenty something dollars, not even including shipping. But he thinks about doing it anyway, his fingers itch to do it anyways. 

He doesn’t do it, because - it’s stupid. It’s just, it’s just a stupid idea. He lets his feet carry him down streets he’s too familiar with, too comfortable with. He’s memorized details about every one of them that he’s sure nobody else would care to remember, like how the fifth house on his old block’s got a fake window on its top floor. Or how the shed at one of his classmate’s houses has a rusting, decayed roof and is perfect to look up at the stars through. 

As he rounds the block to the campus dorms, Jaebum bites the inside of his cheek and sighs through his nose. It hurts and it tethers him to reality for a moment, away from catching fireflies in jars and the scent of burning sparklers. It isn't fair to assume such details are forgotten and ignored, is it? What’s important to one person might not be to another, or something like that. Jaebum wouldn’t think twice about the dark, gritty alleys of Jinyoung’s neon city but it is something he cherishes. Jaebum just can’t relate. 

Jaebum enters the dorm as quietly as he can, toeing off his shoes. Light is peeking out from beneath Jinyoung’s door and maybe that’s what makes Jaebum close his bedroom door a little less than quietly. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How much more desperate can he get?

He moves to his desk, takes out a sharpie and pushpin and replaces the note on his wall with a bold 5, tossing out the messily written 6, added to the accumulating numbers in his wastebin.

There’s a knock at his door.

“Hyung.”

Jaebum’s gaze slips away from the door and towards the window.

“Come on. Don’t leave your guest waiting.”

He turns and opens the door. Jinyoung steps in without hesitation, climbing onto Jaebum’s bed and laying out over it like a starfish. His sky blue T-shirt hikes up to his belly, exposing untouchable skin that looks too right, too warm against Jaebum’s comforters. Jaebum wants to push him off of it.

“Are you gonna miss me?”

Jaebum closes his eyes as he walks to his bed, sitting on its edge with his back facing Jinyoung. He stays quiet and can imagine how Jinyoung’s smile fades, how the creases around his eyes would smooth out and blend into smooth skin.

“We can keep in touch, you know - social media and all.”

He thinks about the time Jinyoung fell asleep while driving home from the nearest IMAX movie theatre since their local theatre wasn’t featuring some superhero movie Jinyoung was desperate to see. In the parking lot the only light offered was a blinking streetlamp a dozen feet away, but…

“That’s right… You didn’t even know what Snapchat was until I showed it to you. We can work on that. We have — what, a week?”

“Five days,” Jaebum murmurs.

“Oh.”

Staring at your sleeping roommate isn’t cool, especially in a creepy parking lot. He woke Jinyoung up. Told him he had to move, had to get up and get back to the dorm because sleeping with his neck slumped against his chest like that will make it hurt in the morning. Of course he just turned over and curled into himself to mutter, “just lemme nap for a little and we can get going.” Jaebum didn’t know what else to do so he reclined the seats as far as he could and… he waited.

“Well, make sure you get a good router, hyung. Internet’s slow here.”

He couldn’t sleep. 

Jinyoung’s hair turned static-y rubbing against the faux leather of the seat. He must’ve been used to sleeping in weird positions... or maybe he was just really tired. He slept with his mouth closed which was astonishing to Jaebum, he figured that since he’s so damn talkative...

He collected little things like this over two years. Little details. Things he wouldn’t have discovered without his eyes wandering to the wrong place at the wrong time. Things that Jinyoung doesn’t know he knows. Things that keep him up, staring out his window and the unmoving stars. Wondering.

“...Don’t be sad. This isn’t like a… a falling out. A door isn’t closing, Bbeomie.”

Jinyoung likes to hold Jaebum’s hand, sometimes. His fingers are long and his palm is long, too - the opposite of Jaebum’s squarish hands.

He doesn’t carry lip balm so his lips are usually chapped. That doesn’t stop them from looking pink, red - desirable, kissable.

He’s particular about making sure his shoes are neat at the front door. He doesn’t like it when they pile up, and scolds Jaebum if he ever lets it reach that point.

His ears go red, first, when he’s embarrassed. Then it’s his cheeks, and if it’s really bad, he’ll flush all the way down his neck.

He likes collecting things, even if it’s a little impractical to do so. It’s like he wants a souvenir to remember everything he’s ever done.

He’s got dog bites and cat scratches up his arms in odd looking scars. They match Jaebum’s.

Apparently, his immediate family lives somewhere near the ocean. He lived with his aunt in the city for most of his life.

His eyes always look glassy - like he’s constantly on the verge of crying. Jaebum sees stars in them.

What is he supposed to do with all this?

With everything he’s learned?

How does he dispose of the details of a person he won’t really know in a few months, years?

Jaebum let his heart get the best of him. He’d thought if his eyes did the work, if he just watched from the sidelines - he’d be satisfied.

“I wish you’d say something.”

Jaebum turns, finally looking back at Jinyoung whose sat up against his headboard, drawn into himself even though his words are so bold.

“I don’t really know what to say,” he murmurs, dishonestly. “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung shifts, crawling over to Jaebum and tugging on his shirt, trying to pull him down to the bed.

“Then let's not talk. We can save that for tomorrow.”

Jaebum lets himself be pulled, his back hitting the comforter and suddenly he’s staring up at Jinyoung and the stars in his eyes and the sun freckles starting to show over his nose and pouty lips that somehow look even better this close up and — the back of Jaebum's eyes burn. He stares and the words rise in his chest like they have a thousand times before, under the same still sky, on identical nights, taking in the face he knows better than his own.

Will he ever have another chance like this?

⸻

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! ive been sitting on this fic for over a year now and i decided i ought to just try being brave and put it out there for all to see... im so nervous. i hope to put more up in the future, and i hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave comments, any and all feedback is appreciated <3


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